But networking can feel excruciating for introverts, mostly because it feels so unnatural and forced. With learning and enough practice, though, it can become second-nature—even for introverts. In his post on introversion and extroversion, Jason Seiden writes, “Ironically, although extroverts tend to have better natural social skills, people who are truly great at working social interactions tend to be introverts who have learned social skills. This elite crop of introverts took the time to study what it is that makes extroverts fun, and they have developed a set of skills that allows them to mimic the extrovert when necessary.” How encouraging; by considering networking as a skill that can be learned, the mindset goes from “This isn’t me” to “I can be great at this.”

“Although extroverts tend to have better natural social skills, people who are truly great at working social interactions tend to be introverts who have learned social skills.”

With that perspective in mind, here are some networking tips for introverts:

Fun things count. You don’t always have to talk shop. Think about your hobbies for a minute. If you are the stereotypical introvert, perhaps they are solitary activities such as reading, running, mountain biking, cooking, or gaming. However, other people also exist who have such interests and can be found. Be open to forming relationships with people who have similar hobbies–for example, the next time you are at the bookstore and someone else is in your aisle looking at similar books, ask them for a reading recommendation.

Know your answer to ice breaker questions. Often when we go to networking events or meet new people, others ask us, “What do you do?” Think ahead for how you might answer this and other common questions. If you can’t find a good enough answer, consider that you don’t have to focus on your current job. In her post, How to answer the question, What do you do, Penelope Trunk writes, “the best answer to the question ‘What do you do?’ is ‘Here’s what I’m passionately learning right now.’” And prepare some ice breakers of your own too!

Find a way to make the large crowd smaller. There is no need to talk to everyone. Find someone you know and start there—maybe they can introduce you to someone new. Or if there isn’t anyone you know around, a bar stool is a great place for initiating a conversation or, at the very least, appearing like you are open to conversation. Take breaks when you need them and don’t feel the need to overstay. After the event, don’t overanalyze the interactions you had. Remember that making just one new connection is success; catching up with an old acquaintance is also success.

While personality can help predict how someone is likely to behave, it doesn’t determine how we behave. The situation, the setting, how others act, our mood, our values, our intentions, among other things – are just as likely to have an impact on our behavior and actions.

That being said, the behaviors of an extreme introvert and an extreme extravert can vary so drastically in response to an identical situation that one may have quite a difficult time understanding where the other is coming from. To be an effective leader, you must be able to adapt your style. To work effectively in a team situation, it is helpful to recognize, respect, and work with the differences of others.

Emotional Expression

One hallmark of extraverts is they are very likely to display positive emotions whenever they feel them. In contrast, an introvert may be very happy or pleased, yet nobody around them would recognize it because they tend to be more reserved in their emotional expression. They most likely will not jump up and down in response to a birthday gift or a promotion. But don’t assume they are unhappy or unappreciative. They are more likely to express their true emotions through words rather than actions. Take those words at face value and don’t read into it.

Information Processing

Extraverts sometimes must start talking before their thoughts begin to make sense to them. Introverts are opposite in that if they start taking without a plan in mind, they will only get more confused. This is especially true in problem-solving. Don’t catch them off-guard with a question and expect a good answer. Prior to a meeting or a collaboration session, provide everyone with the agenda, the problem, the questions, etc. This will maximize the contributions that introverts make. In recent years, open collaboration spaces have become very popular. However, make sure you also have private, quiet spaces where work can be done without interruptions.

Social Interaction

It is a misconception that introverts have poor social skills or are shy. It probably comes about because introverts become drained (and thus, ineffective) after interacting with others and they become recharged after taking alone time. Introverts are more likely to enjoy interacting with others one-on-one than in larger group settings. They also tend to enjoy getting to know a few people very well rather than lots of people superficially. Because introverts process information internally, they may be slow talkers. Give them time to finish without interrupting.

Quick tips:

• Extraverts tend to dominate brainstorming sessions. Ask introverts for their opinion specifically and create an opportunity for them to be heard without interruptions.
• Phone conversations create awkward pauses when the introvert is thinking. Use email if you want to get their clearest thoughts around a topic.
• Introverts will often keep their emotions, interests, ideas, and thoughts to themselves. It takes time, trust, and a great relationship to get to know them fully.
• Introverts have a larger personal space bubble and a lower tolerance for external stimuli. Hold the hugs, turn down the music, and give them some space.

To work effectively in a team situation, it is helpful to recognize, respect, and work with the differences of others.

Great team members, as well as great leaders, come in both varieties – introverts and extraverts.